I’ve tried to burn out over the last 5 months

I’ve failed, and I learned how burnout works

5 months ago, on the 28th of April 2023, I decided to start working on my side gig. As a full-time Engineering Manager, I’d have to put some serious hours into the project.

I got a thought: “What if I burn out?”. I did before multiple times, and I knew it was a likely case when working 12-14 hours a day, 7 days a week.

It didn’t change my plans, but I had to manage the risk. I decided to start the experiment on how long I could work that way before getting into trouble. In the best case, I succeed in working long hours. Worst, I burn out and learn another lesson for life.

Spoiler alert: I’m all good, and the lessons I learned are the topic of this issue of Code.Lead.Succeed Newsletter.

The plan

Trying to be wise, I started small. I focus first on posting on LinkedIn each day. It’s been a big ask for me as it was a lot of work to get good at writing and content simultaneously. I’ve never been a marketer or copywriter, so getting good fast wasn’t easy.

As I was posting, I had a mountain of learning to climb. Not only about marketing and business but also about myself. What can I offer? To whom? As I expected, the amount of work to be done has ramped up significantly in the last couple of months.

In all that time, I observed myself and how tired, exhausted or stressed I get. How do I react to it? The plan was to get to the burnout phase and, at that exact moment, slow down and return to the safe zone. Done on repeat could let me work multiple days or weeks over the limit.

Getting close to burnout

At 3 weeks in, I’ve hit the first break. I’ve spent a lot of time learning and writing to improve my posts. I hit a point where I got fed up with it and needed a break. It took 4 days of chilling and doing nothing before I felt ready. The assumption was to wait out the tiredness and return to the game when I felt better.

It worked well. After some rest, I got my energy back and started learning and writing again with increased enthusiasm. There was one thing I didn’t like, though.

For every 21 days of work, taking 4 days off feels like a lot — 20% of time tax. It's not a number I’m happy with. I had to figure out how to do better. The next iteration had to push further into the red zone for me to see better what it’s like to burn out.

This post does not say taking time off is wrong because having a break and relaxing is crucial. It’s about optimising the work-to-rest ratio and listening to my body's and mind’s feedback.

Lessons learned

Standard burnout advice is a surface-level BS

It’s like when my tooth broke in half, and I ate painkillers like candies.

Going for a walk and touching grass helps, but it doesn’t solve the problem. It somewhat solves a problem only loosely related to burnout. I get some rest when I get tired, but I’ve never experienced a day of rest solving a burnout problem.

Burnout is a deeper issue.

Burnout is the result of nested emotions

Once, the team I loved to work with got disbanded, and I’ve been put in one that I fit like a square peg in a round hole. As a developer, I had no decisive power over the architecture or team change. I couldn’t do anything about it.

What I decided to do was to feel bad about it and get increasingly angry and frustrated. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t end up well for me, and it wasn’t bad enough it took me 2 months to get back in the game after that.

From that experience, I’ve realised that burnout is a nested loop of negative emotions. I get stressed about uncontrollable situations and feel bad about it. It makes me unproductive, so I’ll also feel wrong about that. And I get into a juicy burnout phase where I feel guilty about not delivering as I’d like.

That’s my definition of burnout.

The easiest way to win a battle is to know your enemy. I know how to burn out now, so I can take steps to prevent it.

Negative emotions are good

How I solved my burnout problem is with a simple realisation.

On average, I'll feel bad for 50% of my life.
Using the standard distribution model, I know I'll feel terrible 10% of the time.

And it’s okay!

Stress, imposter syndrome, and fear are signs of progress. I was scared when learning to drive a car for the first time. When I was learning to code, I was stressed and frustrated. All that emotions are a necessary part of the process. I need to suck at what I do before I get good at it.

Breaking the burnout cycle early is the natural cure, like going to the dentist with my tooth. Whenever I feel tired, I acknowledge that I may need rest and never feel bad about it. I appreciate it now as a sign I did a fair amount of work. Stress means I care about the result. Imposter syndrome means I have advanced on another level and am not comfortable with it yet.

And it’s okay!

Getting things done despite a negative state is a superpower

What I’m doing now is cranking up the pressure. With the side gig out in full swing, I have multiple things I suck at, which make me stressed and take a lot of time to learn. The skill I work on is doing well in the bottom 50% of the time.

The more I ramp up the work and complexity, the more I get done. It turns out emotional resilience is like a muscle. The more it’s trained, the bigger it gets. I’m not jumping into deep water, and I try to get one more thing done each day following the 1% improvement rule. After a few months, it starts to pay off. Just like with training - going big on the first day will only cause much pain the next day.

It’s like, at the time, I was running regularly. To get better, it didn’t matter what’s the weather. Miles had to be done.

Wrapping up

If there is only one thing you take from this article, I want you to tell yourself, “It’s okay” the next time you feel stressed or tired, “it’s part of the process”. That was an eye-opening moment when I realised all “the bad” is necessary to get good.

Burnout is a real issue in the information era we live in. We also need more prevention on a personal level because changing the world takes time, which we don’t have.

Let me know on LinkedIn or by replying to this email what’s your experience with burnout. Let’s find better solutions together!

P.S.

How can I help you?

✅ If you feel you’re stuck in your career
✅ If you don’t know where your career leads you to
✅ If you’re looking for a way to speed up your progress

I have 2 last spots left in my Autumn Career Booster challenge, where I will help you

→ Set your career goals
→ Find the direction on how to get them fast
→ Help you get beyond your 9-to-5 if you wish to

And to add to that, my coaching program is still at a discounted price of £500!

And if you put in work and won’t get the desired change, we’ll work together until you do!

To help you, I always book a discovery call to ensure you get the desired results. Book yours today 👇