The Grind ep. 3

My top 3 life lessons from last year

Today is about the 3 most significant discoveries I made last year and what I feel can help you in your life and career.

Every year, I post about the grind and how I understand the journey of content creation, business, and career.

The first started as the outcry of doing more. The second was still looking for answers. Today, it’s about focusing inward.

1. If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Few of you will know, but in therapy, I realised I suffer from severe anxiety.

Sometimes, I would sit paralysed in an endless loop of thoughts, unable to do anything productive. Sometimes, I would go out to meet a friend and run away soon after because I felt an irrational fear of I don't know what. Sometimes, I would force myself to work and then suffer from exhaustion for weeks.

Shit happens, and before, I felt terrible about it.

The change happened nearly immediately when I accepted and recognised what was happening. Support from my therapist and friends, who knew, helped as well. It broke the loop of doom.

I became okay with having a panic attack. I could speak about it, recognise when it's happening, and what leads to it. I could improve.

It sounds easy, but it took me a year after 20 years of hell. I kept going; I'm still going. Some problems not only require answers but also time to get solved.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

2. There's no new and better Truth.

On my journey, I looked everywhere.

Eastern philosophies, personal development, hustle culture and ignoring all the above. I watched videos of people living the lives I wanted to live and tried to do what they did. It makes sense that I will get what they have if I do what they do.

Wrong.

It works for them because of their life history and the experiences they had so far and it’s okay.

I’m not them. I grew up in a different place, in a different culture, with a different family. No silver bullet will work for me the same way.

If it does, it's a coincidence.

I tried weights and yoga to improve my health. Both lasted a few weeks until the yoga mat and dumbbells started gathering dust on the shelf. They work, but they aren't the right solution for me.

Looking for inspiration on YouTube didn't work, so I went the other way - asking myself what I liked to do in the past.

Two straightforward answers came to my mind: hiking and mountain biking. I love exploring forests and mountains off the beaten track; the wind shimmering in branches, and watching the waves crashing on the beach when walking along the coast. I love the freedom it brings and the endless horizon that relaxes my eyes after endless days of looking at the screen.

I lost it because I sought newer and better options instead of sticking with what worked.

I'm happy now that I learned there's no new and better Truth.

3. Instead of building up, remove the blockers.

Content creation changed my life, but the way most creators talk about it.

Since I moved from coding to management, I noticed a change. The work became hard on multiple levels. Content creation in the same way didn't work as the success stories say.

Engineering and people are two parallel skill sets with only a few transferrable skills. Writing content wasn't natural for me, and it still isn't, though I'm making progress. It showed me I'm not consistently good at it.

Yet again, I went out and started learning. I read books, watched YouTube, and bought courses. I learned a lot, but it still didn't work. Just like with health, the answer wasn't where I was looking.

I got the knowledge, but anxiety and my mindset kept me from good writing.

Knowledge is rarely the problem. With ChatGPT, I can learn anything in under a day. What stops me is the way I think about it.

You can call it habits, discipline, or whatever else. I wanted the new ones but didn't reflect on what I have now. I learned about negotiation and networking, but it's worthless with raging social anxiety.

So, I put a hold on everything but my mental health. I went hard on figuring it out and improving it. The result is that I'm happier and clearer about who I am and what I do than ever before.

It didn't stop my plans; it put them in the correct order, solving for the root cause first.

That's how work and life have become as easy (or close enough).

Instead of building up, remove the blockers.

No more Grind, then?

Nah.

Correcting mistake I made - yeah.

Grind brings tension. Life, career, business, and training are all grinds.

All bring tension, and for the last twenty-odd years, I have focused on increasing the power. I missed removing the friction. The Grind needs a balance of both to work.

The Grind never ends.